Same Sea
by ohmysolo
Summary: I will find you again. When the currents circle back, we will be in the arms of the same sea. CS Post 5x20
She doesn't know how long she's been staring at the sea. It could be only minutes, maybe even hours, but her eyes can't stop looking for a second. She knows it's stupid but she can't help herself. The thought of looking away prompts a whimper to erupt in her throat.

How could all of it have been for nothing? She had tried so hard to get her happy ending—her true love—back in her arms (alive and well, of course) and only ended up alone and struggling to take simple breaths while he was left in the underworld.

She can still feel the soft scratch of his chin rubbing hers in their last kiss. The faint touch of his lips against the skin of her hand as he pressed the love of his heart into her one last time. She can still smell the faintest scent of leather and a just the distinct scent of "him" on her skin. It's too much but also will never be enough. Soon these things will no longer be there—they will be just a memory of a past that never really got to have a future.

She really is trying to keep it together; trying to keep her armor down like she promised but it's just too damn hard. How can she ever let someone in again? Who could ever compare to Killian? No one. He was her true love. He was the one who she would be with forever, the one she would fight for with everything she had.

Her body, exhaustion finally taking its toll, slowly slumps to the side until she is lying down on the cold bench. The hard ends of old nails pinch her legs and the wood feels scratchy but those feelings are nothing compared to how her heart feels. Nothing could ever compare to the ache of loneliness and despair that had opened a wide hole in her heart.

Clutching her arms to her chest, Emma breathes in the scent of the sea that lay out before her. Watching the water was helping calm the storm brewing in her soul but it was only a matter of time before it broke free and claimed her for its own.

The soft sound of the waves lapping against the dock eventually begin to soothe her, making the ache in her bones feel more like a soft burn. If she imagines hard enough, she can almost feel the touch of Killian's hand holding hers, the press of his chest against her back as he holds her like so many times before. She can almost feel his breath leaving soft whispers of promises and love across her neck.

Her body moves on instinct, turning to reach her hand out to touch the soft strands of his dark hair, to press a soft kiss against his lips. Instead she only meets the back of the bench and the cold twilight air.

Her hand drops in defeat. He will never be there again. Never be there again to brush her hair back from her eyes as he smiles down at her when they are lying down in bed after a long day. He will never be there again to kiss her eyelids as she struggles to keep her eyes open just so she can take another look into his blue eyes as she falls asleep. He will only ever be a ghost—his touches no more than the wisp of a memory that she never wants to forget.

Reluctantly turning back to the vast sea in front of her, Emma can't help but wonder if he's moved on yet. She hopes that he has finally found the peace he deserves after so many years of heartache and suffering.

Resting her head on her clasped hands, she watches as the sun finally reaches its last moments before the darkness would fully overtake the sky. As the sun dips itself into its end, she sees a soft flash of green before it blinks out of her sight.

Smiling softly, she remembers sitting in a spot not too far from here with Killian as he held her and recounted stories of his adventures on the seas. He had told her the story of how when a man set his eyes on the green flash; it meant that a soul had rejoined our world. It's too bad that is the one myth that wasn't actually true.

Gathering the strength to sit upright, Emma wipes the remnants of her tears on her sleeve. She stands finally ready to head back inside and be with her family who she knew would do whatever they could to ease her pain, even if that's all she would ever feel again.

"I love you Killian," she whispers into the night, her fingertips at her lips leaving a soft kiss there that she touches to the railing leading to the docks. "I will find you again."

No matter how far they get—whether in time, realms, or the place she will go when she moves on, she knows that they are still connected. Just like the ocean that once held the heart of her true love, they would meet once again when the currents circle back and bring her into his arms once again.

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Review? Make me feel like I actually can do something? :)


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